A pen. Paper. And the ocean

You. Your thoughts. A pen. And paper. No one else in that moment when writing either a first draft of an essay or a personal journal entry, an can say that it’s wrong. The purpose of a first draft is to get all of your thoughts written out and realizing the first time around, it will not be perfect. To me, that is very liberating because I think most can agree perfection is difficult to accomplish the first time. Everything takes practice.

                In the first chapter of Writing Down the Bones, Goldberg describes how her writing has developed over the years. This helped me reflect of my own prior thoughts and experiences with writing.  She described how in her early years in grade school when writing, she never missed a comma, always double checking to make sure the format is just right. I would argue that most people, including myself, agree these techniques of writing aren’t wrong---However, Goldberg made these qualities sound as a limiting way to write. For one, it didn’t allow freedom in her writing because she was too concerned with grammer (which is important) but it kept her from putting her thoughts on to paper. She said that most the compositions she wrote at a young age were dull, boring, and excluded any real feeling she had about the subject. This made me think of many times in my earlier years in school where I was just going through the writing motions. I fulfilled the requirement, but it was far removed from any passion of mine. I am aware that this practice wasn’t all in vein because structure is an important part of conducting a clear message through writing.

However, not until the last couple of years (about when I started Antioch University) I realized that writing is fun. I mean, it isn’t just fun, but it is good for my well-being. Why? I learned that while yes structure helps with clarity and communicating the purpose of writing, first-order-thinking content in writing is also important and valid. First-order-thinking, as we discussed in our first class meeting is summed up as, one’s uncensored thoughts or intuitive thoughts. Second-order-thinking is more about checking one’s self, communicating for a specific reason or purpose, and more analytical. First order of thinking comes more natural and in my opinion is more freeing. It is freeing because it’s literally what comes to your brain in that instant. However, if everyone acted, spoke, or wrote in this practice alone, I have a feeling it would be quite a different world.

Goldberg talks about picking out a specific pen that connects with you and the paper.  At first I couldn’t really relate to connecting with a pen. I can’t recall a time I ever had a lucky pencil. But after digging deeper, I realized that her pen is equivalent to my environment in which I write. She describes how the right pen can create more freedom in her writing because she personally connects with how the pen and paper feel.

 I find that the environment affects the way I write. I feel at most peace with the pen and paper if I am in nature, especially the beach. I know that the details of the ocean are far more complex than anything that I could possibly write. By understanding that there is something so mysterious, unknown, and massive right in front of me, it makes me feel comfortable exploring my most inner thoughts. I’m still not exactly sure why that is, but it is.